Waiting for deliverance

She keeps laughing, creating waves, like the blinding lightening lest someone should see see her misty eyes n ask the reason.........."why?"


She keeps chatting, throwing words like the cover firearms, so that the sounds of her sobbing heart could pass lest someone should intercept her soul and ask the reason............"why?"


No, she is not afraid.
She can answer all "why's".
But she won't lest all her answers, her misty eyes, her sobbing heart should fall in the swamp of counter accusations, soiled, sink deeper, pulled by the dirt within, lost......


She chooses to strain her muscles to create the perfect, natural sounding laughter.


She chooses to strain her brains to think of words to say.


So that,


In that cocoon her eyes n heart can live to see a day when she can drop her guard and let her eyes be seen shining, and her heart be heard laughing, in a world, on a day, where and when it would be possible.


Till then her lips would laugh
Till then her mouth will talk.


Don't complain why both sound strained...she can't help it.


But one day you will hear a softer laugh, may be a quite sob and muffled whispers, but they would be lighter, brighter, freer. They would sheathe deliverance :)

Something lingers on

Something lingers on twixt you n me. You came to my life as the first rain on parched earth. You seeped within and lent me that intoxicating aroma.That's something that lingers on twixt you n me. I called you the wind. By no ties could you be held. You touched me with the winters of my life and I stood frozen in the moment, in which your vision my eyes still held. That's something that lingers on twixt you n me
I said you are mine if to me you come back of your own accord. N to me did you come for the record. But like the breath of wine, our dialogues remind me of the past intoxicating. When reality stares with an empty gape. That's something that lingers on twixt you n me.

Stabbed

Love yourself
You are lovable
So I was told
I started loving myself
Left all strings I started loving myself
A constant echo walking behind me
You are worth it
Yes you can do it
I am ecstatic
I am almost smiling
Almost beginning to laugh
Suddenly my cheeks feel too tight for my smile
I am feeling light
Lighter
I find my heels raised
I find my hands uplifted
I find my chest elevated
Full with the complete breath of satisfaction
My head raised
My eyelids raised
My eyes shining
My throat seeping in the newness of the air
I am about to fly

Suddenly

A pain in my chest
My hands fend for my heart
My heels drop
My knees break
My face kissing the ground
I strain my ears for the echo behind
It's past
Can't recall when I heard it last
No none's behind
I grope for a friendly hand on my back
It's not there
I am not being followed any more
I see my hands, gore with blood
Behind my back I've been stabbed




Note: Pure fiction :). Just a flight of my mind

सदा (The call)

गुरूर के नशे में चूर
सजा याफ्ता तुम भी हम भी
दूर चमकता कुर्बत का सूरज
दूरियों के दरिया के किनारे तुम भी हम भी
रंजिश की आह ही सही
कोई शोर मचे
दिल से निकले जो आवाज़
इश्क की सदा बन जाती है
सुनने को बेताब तुम भी हम भी



Note: From my diary.

What's life ?

What's Life


A sunny winter morning
A musical folk night in desert
A lazy summer afternoon
A child's face warm and bright
Roaring happy family luncheon
Waiting for a colourful evening
A spark in someone's eyes

Or

A night of winter cold and dark
A deserted afternoon in desert
A day out, in summer, scorching, punishing and hard
A child wailing with empty stomach
A familiar face red angry and bitter
The exhaust from a departing vehicle
The night after some one has left forever

Or

It is a mixture
of warm nights and frozen days
of mirage and river
of loud sobs and peaceful laughter
of meetings and departures

Or

Is it a dream village of ever changing skies
which will soon be forgotten
When we open our eyes


? ? ?



Note: This is something I had written when I was 17. Lost it, tried to remeber and recreated it on 27 Aug' 2009. Thought of sharing it on this page today

Image from - http://vi.sualize.us/

रिहायी

बस इतना कह के मैं नहीं तेरी मंजिल
और मौत की राह पे छोड़ दे
फिर ये न कह कि मैं पसंद भी हूँ तुझे
कि फिर न जीते बने न मरते

पूरी उम्र एक अफ़सोस में गुज़रे
के ये किस कमी के साथ आये थे हम
न मिला आसमान न ज़मीन के हुए
मिली बस निगाहों में नमीं और एक खूबसूरत ग़म

ख्वाबों से भरी उन मीठी बातों से
ये ख़ामोशी अच्छी
गुर्बत के बादलों तले मुलाक़ात से
ये दूरी अच्छी

For guests not comfortable with the Hindi script:-

Rihayi


Bas itna keh ki main nahi teri manzil
Aur mout ki raah pe chhod de
Fir ye na keh ki main pasand bhi hoon tujhe
Ke fir na jeete bane na maarte

Poori umr ek afsos me guzre
Ke ye kis kami ke saath aaye the hum
Na mila aasman na zameen ke hue
Mili bs nigahon me nami aur ek khoobsurat gham

Khwabon se bhari un mithi baton se
Ye khamoshi achhi
Gurbat ke badlon tale mulaqat se
Ye doori achhi


Note: From my diary

सुकूँ की तलाश... ( In search of relaxation)

इतने सपने भर  लिए आँखों में
मुरझाये सपनों की भीड़ के परे
अँधेरे के सिवा कुछ दिखता नहीं

बचपन की याद
जैसे कहीं दूर पड़ रही बारिश का धुंधलका
बहुत कोशिश की पर किसी
बिसरे सपने की परछाई जितना भी दिखता नहीं

सुकूँ की नींद
जैसे गर्मियों की बारिश में ओलों का तोहफा
हज़ारों मोती आँखों के लुटाये; एक झपक की उम्र जितना भी कहीं बिकता नहीं


For guests who are not comfortable with the Hindi script :

Itne sapne bhar liye ankhon me
murjhaye sapnon ki bheed ke pare
andhere ke siva kuch dikhta nahin

Bachpan ki yaad
Jaise kahin door pad rahi barish ka dhundhalka
Bahut koshish ki par kisi bisre sapne ki parchhayi jitna bhi dikhta nahin

Sukoon ki neend
Jaise garmiyon ki barish me olon ka tohfa
Hazaron moti aaknhon ke lutaye; ek jhapak ki umr jitna bhi kahin bikta nahi

The translation:

Had filled my eyes with dreams thus
There is nothing I can see, beyond
the dead dreams, their crowd and silent chaos

The memories of child hood
Like the haze of rains in lands out of reach
Hard I tried; can't see as clear as even a forgotton dream

A relieved slumber
Like the gift of hailstones in April Showers
Spent thousand of pearls from my eyes; could not buy a little that would last the span of a bat of my eyelids