Journey towards the "Me" that I want to be

When we have less flowers to decorate a place, we use all of them on the outside and at times even tear up  and strew the flowers to cover more area. Someone who comes visiting is held captive or impressed for sometime however once the person stays for long and gets to see it all inside out, he/she is met with disappointment at the beauty of the interiors being below expectation.
Similarly, when we know less or have a shorter horizon as a person, we may impress someone by using all that we have at hand, but it cannot help us retain our relationship with the admirer of those qualities.
We need to cultivate more flowers, in other words we need to increase our treasure of qualities such as wisdom, knowledge, goodness, kindness, morals, dignity and deportment, to retain the right kind of people. Lest the few flowers will wilt and rot and would look more repulsive than a place sans flowers. A place sans flowers can be equated to a person who may not be very wise and may not have things to say, whose beauty lies in his knowledge of self and seeking.
Keep evolving, keep enriching, keep beautifying the inner self.
There is no limit to the return on this investment.

Love does not hurt or...?

Every erratic behaviour is not a display of love just because it is by someone who is supposed to love you.

It is true that we get hurt most by the people we love the most. But it doesn't imply that they should get proactive and take the responsibility of hurting us thoroughly.

If anyone claims that the person hurts you because the person loves you, then let them fool themselves alone.

Remember there is a difference between getting hurt owing to your own heart and being hurt by someone's acts intended to hurt you.

Love does not injure it heals.
It does not hurt it soothes.
It does not punish..it accompanies u in every hardship.

Else it is not love

Acknowledged

When she had looked at the new Moon, it had seemed promising of an equally beautiful other face
As the full Moon approaches
her disappointment increases.
Having to choose with only the new Moon in sight does not seem anything like a gamble anymore
The more she plays it, the more predictable it gets

It always ends the same way.

Sometimes the Moon gets uglier some times she
No matter who loses face, it is always the night that is disfigured.
It is always the moments that are lived only half.
The other half is only a promised dream.

She lives half lives all her life
Throws away her only chance to fulfillment to sulking
How she wishes for two separate worlds for the two kinds of people
People who make their own world of dreams, and people made by dreams of the world around them.

She sees the former losing out to the latter.
She meets people of the former world but as the moon waxes
She loses them to the vacuum in the people of other world.
She regrets seeing each one succumbing faster than the earlier one


Heart speaks a lot that can be conveyed by only a silence
Awaiting a gift of acknowledged silence.
A sigh acknowledging the "what could have been".
A silence strengthening the belief in the beauty of the "what could have been".
 

To God:- If one life is what she gets, she could have been better off with a little more patience, a little more space for her world. Could have ended up with a lot less "what could have been"s.

......WITHOUT BEING APOLOGETIC ABOUT WHAT WE ARE...

Writing something after a long time. Really really really long time.
I find myself thinking whether to write what I want to write.

Then I think of writing something that I heard and liked today.

Then I think of writing something that people will want to read, or find interesting, or will enjoy.


Our mind makes and rejects so many decisions within a span of 2-3 seconds. But why do we stress our minds so much. Why can't we just be; do what we like; be ourselves. Every person is a colour in himself (does not mean I am leaving out the hers, am sure we women are not dependent on the "/her" to make our presence felt ;) ), that way we will have variety and thus get to see more people rather than reflections of reflections of some ideal person (may be trendy or the "in" or the "happening" person also).

Sounds like preaching :). Here again, I am trying to get an immediate feedback or confirmation or acceptance. Trying to sound correct, trying to be within the boundaries of what and how much can be said staying within the people pleasing limits.

Would it make me a rebel if I do otherwise, NO, but, this fear, of not being accepted, of not being in the warm circle of "We" (herd), trying to be different but only enough to be noticed but just short of making any changes, unsettling people or making them uncomfortable.

Being a fashionable revolutionary or rebel of sorts, a revolutionary accepted by society without having to pull up its sleeves or get up from it's comfortable seats/lounges. This by design fails the meaning of the term "revolutionary". A rebel not revolting or unsettling the norms rebelled against, rather used as a logo or Brand, stylish to be associated with.

How many times do we find ourselves hating a group loudly for being snobbish and discriminatory, and feeling priviledged or patronized or even obliged to be welcomed by the same group, or to even win a good word of praise from them, for the new hair style, or the new clothes; all the while grinning, sheepishly with a look over the shoulders to ascertain how many are witness to this moment of glory.

This is still slavery of sorts, which we need to come out of. Again, "need to" might be replaced with "want to", "may like to", "would like", "would find great", "would look great", on the basis of what we want from life.

We can walk in herds and end up in slaughter houses, without knowing why we exist. Just serving to a tasty, accepted palate.

Or we can walk as individuals, WITHOUT BEING APOLOGETIC ABOUT WHAT WE ARE.
Not afraid to say and be what we want to be.

Time to fight the emotional slavery.