Handsome

Owwwww I wonder....if pain isn't a handsome carelessly talented painter with piercing eyes and strands of hair accentuating the intoxicating eyes, heartlessly dipping his brush in our hearts to find the colours with which to paint the most beautiful sketches in the skies of our hearts' eyes. Tempting us with the beauty of the sketches and the magnetism of his dark quietness to let him stay, let him keep painting from the colours of our heart.

There she goes .........

There goes innocence.....
A pair of hawaii on her feet,
strands of hair swaying with her gait from side to side,
as carefree as her heart, as light, as free of burden,
barring the ones held back by the plastic red band,
A gait that has taken its bounce from life or has inspired the bounce in life....... hard to figure,
Her skirt unsymmetrically tied to her waist, fluttering with the rythm of the wind,
The rythm her vibrant breath has taken from the wind or given to the wind..... its hard to tell.

A bag half open clung to her shoulders...from within peeped the riches, happiness, carefreeness, childhood, reassurance, security, bliss.... a heart of Gold.... sigh. I looked at my own and got embarrased at the amount of dust and soot it was covered in having burnt at the altar of wisdom, wealth, position, pride. How can it turn golden again.....?

I could not take my eyes off her, as I was about to cross her she looked back n smiled.

Alas.... if on some such cross road of life my innocence could smile back at me.....

Life after winters .....is it ?

When I walk with you

The path seems shorter than I want it to be

Never thought of a girl, smiling at the mirror,

in an eternity

And to think that was to be me

Destiny has always played hide n seek

Is it not or is it meant to be?

Look back once.. for me.....

Poetry where are you ?

There, right behind those soft eyelids that guard the little kid's dreams ?

Got you !

No ! He opened his eyes; I felt like I found you; I had you, but only for a second and then you vanished.


Where are you hiding?

Why are you sulking ?

I remember I promised you smiles; but that does not mean you would leave the moment I give place to pain in my heart.

I can only request you to come back into my heart, hold pain's hand and lead her out with you.

She seems to have lost her way in my heart.

Where are you ?

Have I by mistake left you among the pages of the long closed book of memories.

I opened the book; a dust of emotions rose. I thought I saw a flicker of you with it. But the dust choked my throat, my eyes blurred with tears.

Ah Poetry ! You were gone before I could hold your hand, sit beside you and colour you in my colours and get coloured in yours.


I know it is neither a poem nor an essay or a story... it is just a conversation, I am not even sure if it is worth sharing or not.. but then this place is mine... I'll be me here... whatever the me means... and today "me" said I have to come here and post something.

For past some days my place here has been like a house with a lock on the main gate but a window open giving a hint of who and what used to be inside and such houses scare me. I'll try and keep the doors open.. even if there is no party inside.. even if one comes just to sit and wander and wonder at the walls.. even if only to laugh at the stupidity or funniness or get confused at the complete lack of order and sense and sanity :)

You are welcome :)

She is adamant

The rain waits at my door, like a naughty child, stamping her feet, pursuing me to play with her. 

When I close the doors on her face, she brings along her stronger cousin the wind, and she beats my door ferociously.

I feign anger, with a straight face I go to the terrace, trying not to emote. She teases me, shouting loudly with the thunders. When I put a finger on my lips and ask her to keep quiet with an angry face, she tries to amuse with the fire works of lightning.


She keeps dancing form morn till noon. I decide the crazy kid needs some rest and ask her father, the Sun, to forbid her, but I find him hiding himself behind her mother, the cloud. The cloud argues for her child. When she has let her daughter leave her lap and go play at aunt earth for her vacation, who am I to interfere.

I give in.

I look at rain again, it's about to get dark, she dazzles me with a lightning again, laughs like a symphony and splashes me.

Disarmed I join her :)


Confession: I am obsessed by the rains :)

When was the last time I did something for the first time

I had been to Koudiyala 2 years back (Now 3.5 yrs), for camping with my colleagues. We did ab-sailing, river rafting, trekking in the Jungle at night,hunting for black ribbons tied to the bushes....we had beautiful crisp camp fires.... but the one thing that reverberates till date in my mind is the phrase our trainer (Destination Outdoors) asked us to take away from the whole experience.... it was "When was the last time I did something for the first time".

At that point of time we had been doing so many things for the first time during those 2 days at camp....that I hadn't actually grasped the true value of repeating this to myself at various points in life.

I came back all refreshed, bubbling with life from the camp, beaming with confidence and rejuvenated energy. The camp had made me discover yet some more things about myself.
But with the passage of time, the energy dissipated, those discovered traits remained with me, but I forgot how to bring back the energy levels......


But as always, God found the magic stick again for me....

I went to Bangalore, as my Brother and Sister-in-law both are working, I was left with the entire day all to myself..... I took up cooking for myself, I started making Rangolis (Designs of coloured powder) at the entrance.... I don't know how and when I started staying very happy throughout the day... I kept wondering what was the reason....

And then sumhow the phrase struck me , while discussing about my camp.
Yes, I was doing that cooking and Rangoli etc for the first time.... every time I made something good, I felt like a new trait was born in me.... then I made it a point that ... each day I would cook a recipe which I had never cooked before. And every day I would feel like I have accomplished something.

The point I am trying to drive home here is that we can do very simple things to rejuvenate ourselves each day.... things which we have never done before. So that we get to know our strengths and weaknesses, we get to explore ourselves in short we get to know ourselves.

Now when I look at what this has done to me... I could not stop myself from sharing this tip with all my friends.

Just try simple things.... even if it just getting off from the bus or car.... a little distance before your destination... and walking all the way.......

We can try this tip every once in a while I am sure it is rewarding

Written 15th Dec 2009

Shadows tell me there's light nearby :)

Have faith. All those who have thought of giving up hope.... just close your eyes, you will see somewhere little glow worms carrying your hopes. Darkness does not rule forever....

 

(Some shadows are visible;

There must be some light nearby

Some hands have come up to stifle a voice

Tells me; A voice has been raised somewhere

I won't write off myself as helpless yet

My heart has sensed some soothing breeze

A heart somewhere has sighed for me)

Kuch parchhaiyaan dikh rahi hain
Kahin shamma jali to hai
Kuch haath uthe awaaz dabane ko
Kahin awaaz uthi to hai
Itna bebas na samajh khud ko
Kuch thandak si mehsus hui hai dil ko
Kahin kisine thandi aahein bhari to hain

Written 31st Aug '09