वो अधूरा आईना

कल समुन्दर किनारे रेत पर चलते चलते निहार रही थी रेत के माथे पर बनती बिगड़ती लकीरों को ;

लकीरें जो समुन्दर हर पल के पलक झपकते बना रहा था 

पैरों में ठोकर सी लगी ; नीचे देखा आँखें चौंधिया गयीं ;

खूबसूरत सुनेहरा चमकता एक तिकोना झाँक रहा था रेत के सीने से; रेत समय की 
जैसे ज़िन्दगी के सुनहरे अरबी के पत्ते पर चमकता जीवनदायी अमृत बिंदु; 
किसी भी पल परिस्थितियों की मिट्टी पर गिरे और खो जाए 

हठी आशा के हाथों वास्तविकता की रौशनी को ढका तो उसमे अपनी दो आँखें दिखाई दीं

कभी इतनी सुन्दर न लगी थीं जो सपनों का काजल लगाये उस क्षण उस तिकोने में दिखाई दीं 

मन में सोच लिया सुनहरी सपनों के ढाँचे में सजाऊँगी वो आईना अपने घर के सबसे अँधेरे कोने में 

खिल जायेगा वो कोना; जब तब रूप निहारुँगी उसमे 

आईना वादा सा कर रहा था हमेशा मेरा दमकता चेहरा ही दिखाएगा 

जीवन सुन्दर लगने लगा; खुद को उस आईने में न जाने किस किस रूप में न देखा 

बस सब्र न हुआ; अभी उठाकर अपना बना लूँ इस आईने को 

हाथ बढाया; ये क्या !?!  जितना तिकोना उभरा था उतना ही हाथ में आ गया

न वज़न था, न गहरायी 

आईना था नहीं अलबत्ता हुआ करता था; फ़क़त कांच का टुकड़ा था !!

हाय री क़िस्मत सपने दिखाकर तोड़ने की आदत न छूटी कभी तुझसे 
जब पाँव ज़मीन पे वापस आए, नख से शिख तक दर्द कौंध गया;
देखा तो सूर्ख थे; सूर्ख बूंदों के मोती टपक रहे थे, एडियों पे लाल लकीर बनाए
आँखों में सपनों का काजल , होठों पर हंसी की सुर्खी, नज़रों में शोखी न सही
यादगार एक सूर्ख दाग तो दे ही गया वो काँच का टुकड़ा... वो अधूरा आईना

Nigahein

Nigahon nigahon me wo haal kar gaye

Bas guzre aur nihaal kar gaye

Unhe khabar bhi nahi hamari sheh ki

Aur hum apne dil se sabse ahem sawal kar gaye

बस अपनी कही और उठ कर चल दिए.

बस अपनी कही और उठ कर चल दिए

मैंने कहा था," बादलों से निकल कर आउंगी किसी शाम;

कुछ हिसाब चुकाने हैं;

तुम्हारी मोहब्बत सिर्फ पानी नहीं कमानी है;

अगर भरोसा है तो रुकना

अपने अलफ़ाज़ निभाने आउंगी किसी शाम"

दो पल की देर

और वो शमा सरे शाम बुझाकर चल दिए 

बस अपनी कही और उठ कर चल दिए

 

The reflection

The reflection in the mirror answers the same description

But the address does not bring out the same person

She gropes in the chaos, the dust of insecurity closes her eyes

She holds on to what she can, and all that she holds gives up

She tries to stand, quite firm looking ground

It's sliding away, it's just quick sand; she looks around

 She speaks the same words over again to herself loud enough

What echoes back from within is a sarcastic cough

She tries saying something else; it's no use anymore

The same sarcastic cough from within is all she can hear

The cough that blows up her claims of knowledge

Knowledge of her own self, knowledge of within

Can't say masks have come up or masks have come off

Can't say pain has numbed love or reality got it written off 

But if this is real, that was a dream, a beautiful one

If she was asleep then, why does she now want to doze off and be gone ?

If I could....

There never was a promise that there would be no dark tunnels in your life.
Neither was there a promise to walk together forever.

But I promised to hold your hand and walk with you till the end of the darkest tunnel of your life.

Wish I had stayed till I could say, " the words have been kept. Light is showing. Darkness is just about to fade"

This is all I can say ....

From where I am looking at it now, I don't know where to look to be able to see something. May be my life's going to be like a dream come true. May be my life's going to be miserable; but who can stop me from making it less miserable. I am not going to give up. I am fighting.

I hear and I listen too, but yes I want only to be heard not listened, so I talk and not speak.
I am going to fight with myself and the coward, the hypocrite in me, to earn every single penny that will help me earn, what people presume that I deserve, but I know within that I don't. Not yet.

Moments that make life

I had been pondering over the accounts chapter and had probably read the same paragraph more than 20 times on the loop without being aware of it. When I realised it, I realised it's time for a break as my mind had already taken a break and sneaked out of the book into it's favorite game of "chasing the mouse within".

Time to discipline it. My new found enthusiasm to train my mind to obey my command, thanks to "The Monk who sold his Ferrari". (Hope it stays with me)

I looked up, in the hope of finding something that would refresh me. There was this bluish shimmer on gray, some hint of crimson, the glow, a smooth outline, a calm, tranquil, innocent, fearless, exploring body language, on a back ground of blue, blue as water but matte not shiny.

It was a pigeon sitting on the nearby asbestos sheet that covered the stairs. It looked beautiful to me now. It had always been just a fellow creature that shared the terrace with me, hardly worth a second look. I realised it was just the way I looked at it, I looked only at it, with it being the focus, and no thoughts playing a back ground cacophony.

I learnt, if we really do only one thing at a time with all our focus, that one thing will give us something.

Satisfaction and a little packet of energy to keep us going till another such moment when we look at life and love it, just love it and be happy about it; and we smile. Such a smile that while at it, when we close our eyes, the curves on our cheeks spread like ripples or waves that reach within, and touch our heart with warmth and leaves us content