At times to forgive we first need to feel that the person has done something which calls for forgiveness on my part, but before that there is a state of glorified pain, when we are not ready to let go of the memories, not realizing what we are feeling is immense pain to which we are addicted coz we are somewhere addicted to the person who caused it. We first need to tell our self that we cannot let ourselves love the person who caused the pain. It has no logical justification, the word logical is superfluous here. We must train our mind to identify that person as Not Good for us, antigen for immune system of heart and happiness. Then start identifying him as the inflictor of pain then think of forgiveness. Else we will remain addicted to the drugs of painful memories unduly glorified.
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